Balkan universities are in a hurry to beat Oxbridge and Ivy League universities. But, from their dire straits, can Balkan teachers afford the train ticket to compare and contrast? Therefore, in this paper we will talk about the situation in the higher education system in the Former Yugoslav countries which has lost its vigour and rigour with the reforms in the last ten years. Instead of adapting the system to the new political and economic situation, our university decision-makers literally implanted the existing western models thus creating a non-productive and mediocre situation. While requirements for tenure track position equal those at the most prestigious universities, funding for research (and teaching too) is desperate. Under this powerful discourse, humanities, especially, are judged useless and literary studies are marginalized as an ineffectual expression of subjectivity. While mapping the Balkan higher-education state of affairs in contrast to its vision, we especially want to highlight the unenviable “post-Theory” condition of literary studies.